Good Samaritan Sermon

Grab your favorite reading beverage for this one ... 
It feels a bit like tooting my own horn, but, again, some folks have asked to read this sermon.  I wish there was some way to convey voice inflection in written text, but you'll just have to put in your own.  Any and all feedback would be sincerely appreciated!

I'm working on my next sermon for August 1 at St. Thomas.  You can check out the lessons on The Lectionary Page.  Any and all suggestions will be considered!!


July 11, 2010
St. Thomas Episcopal Church

Deuteronomy 30:9-14
Psalm 25:1-9
Colossians 1:1-14
Luke 10: 25-37

Is it just me or does the first verse in today’s gospel lesson sounds like the start of a bad lawyer joke?  Only instead of a witty punchline that puts the lawyer in his place, Jesus responds in a way that lets the lawyer and all of us, discover the truth ourselves.  In the context of Luke, the lawyer seems to randomly approach Jesus as an individual.  In Matthew, the lawyer asking this same question is part of a group of Pharisees taking their turn to attempt to discredit Jesus after a group of Sadducees has failed.  In either case, whether he was prompted by a group or acting on his own, he wanted to test Jesus’ knowledge of God.  After Jesus turns the tables on him and asks the lawyer what the law says, the lawyer goes on, as the author of Luke tells us, to justify himself, meaning he wanted to prove himself a righteous man of God. 

I’m sure many of you have been in this type of situation, either professionally or in a social setting.  Someone wants to find out who knows more about a given subject and begins to question us not out of curiosity but to prove their own worth.  Some of you know that this summer I’m doing a chaplaincy internship at the VA hospital.  Last week, I was the on-duty chaplain and part of being on duty for the weekend is to do the protestant services on Sunday morning.  We hold two services, one in the main chapel for anyone who is mobile enough to come to it and then another service in the psychiatric ward, just for the patients and staff there.  The other chaplains, in helping me prepare for my first weekend on duty told me about one of the patients in the psychiatric ward who says he is Jesus.  They told me that often he will interrupt the sermon to make comments such as “that’s not what I really said…” or to offer commentary on what the preacher is saying.  They said the best thing to do is to ignore him and keep going, that he just wants to debate but if I didn’t acknowledge what he says then he would be quiet.  I don’t think I have to tell you that all week I was secretly praying that he wouldn’t be at the service.  I really didn’t want to be faced with the situation of this man questioning my knowledge even if I was given permission to ignore him. 

As I was greeting the patients in the common room in the psychiatric ward before the service, guess who I met?  Yep, Jesus.  He introduced himself to me and thanked me for coming to do the service and then sat right in the front.  As the service began, he followed along attentively in the bulletin, joining in all of the responses and prayers (I remember thinking to myself, Jesus must be Episcopalian!).  As I began my sermon, I said a silent prayer for patience and courage.  About halfway into it he stood up and I braced myself. …  But instead of saying anything, he simply smiled at me and calmly walked out.  … Now, I’m not sure which action would have had the bigger impact on my confidence, if he had completely questioned what I said, or just walking out all together!  But, at least he didn’t try to test my knowledge.  For the time being, I’d like to leave that to my professors.

Okay, so this is a very light-hearted, bit of a stretch of an example of the self-righteous testing that the Lawyer was doing with Jesus but I know we’ve all been in that type of situation.  The lawyer realized he couldn’t trip Jesus up on the law, so he tries with something that isn’t specifically defined in the law: “who is my neighbor”.  After all, Jesus was well known for hanging out with unsavory types so maybe his definition of neighbor would somehow be a contradiction to or evan a violation of the law.  The traditional view of neighbor was a friend or a fellow citizen, not someone who wasn’t an Israelite.  Even for us, today, the word neighbor makes us think of those that live right around us, in our “neighborhood.”  But Jesus has a different definition and in his usual fashion, her responds with a parable, one we’ve known since childhood.  We all know that the point of the parable is to show us what it means to love our neighbor as ourselves.  But why do we want to do the actions that show we love our neighbor as ourselves, what makes us desire to be this type of person?  Let’s take a bit and, as my favorite professor would say, “unpack” it and look at it in detail.

First, the cast of characters:  There is a man.  He’s not given a name or a nationality or any type of identifier, just a generic man.  The detail comes in his journey, he’s going from Jerusalem to Jericho, there was a purpose to him being on a road that at the time was known to be dangerous.  The lawyer probably would have been able to picture himself traveling along this same road, feeling a sense of danger and not being surprised that the man fell into the hands of robbers.  The robbers aren’t given any type of descriptor either.  For the point to be made, it doesn’t matter who it was who was hurt or by whom, only that we see that a human being, one created by God in his image, is in desperate need.

Next comes a priest, a specific person whose job was to offer sacrifices and take care of the sacred rites of the people, who by chance, was going down the same road.  He sees the man, yet doesn’t get anywhere near him and leaves him as the robbers did, half dead.  After the priest, likewise comes a Levite, someone who served as an assistant to priests, who also passes by on the other side of the road, staying as far away from this man as possible.  The story doesn’t give us any indication of their thinking or their feelings upon encountering the wounded man, leaving the lawyer and anyone else listening to fill in their own reaction to coming upon such a person.  Anyone listening to the story, and even you and me, reading it and listening to it today, can see ourselves in each side of this equation.

Finally, there is a Samaritan, someone who despised and was despised by Jews.  The description of the Samaritan seeing the man is opposite of how the priest and Levite saw him.  The priest and Levite saw him first and then passed on the other side giving the impression that they went out of their way to avoid him.  The Samaritan, the story tells us came near and when he saw him was moved with pity and he took action to help the man. 

Jesus provides more detail about the Samaritan than any other of the characters in the story.  His point is to show the lawyer who is seeking justification for his own behavior that those who focus first and foremost on the law rather than on the Giver of the law are the ones who don’t show compassion or mercy.

God provided the Mosaic law that was followed so painstakingly by the priests and Levites.  The law is not bad.  This was not the point of the story.  The law provides direction on how to live life as people who loved God with heart and soul.  The problem lies in making the law more important than loving God or even seeing it as a substitute.  The problem lies in letting religious rules get in the way of being God’s people. 

Following the rules isn’t how we get to know God.  We obey God’s commandments because we know him and love him.  Look at the text from Deuteronomy.  Moses explains that God wanted his people to obey his commands because they had turned to him with all of their heart and soul not as a substitute for this relationship.  Obeying the rules is the visible sign of our relationship with God.  God’s purpose in creating us is to be in relationship with him, not so that he would have someone to give rules to.  We are commanded first to love him with all of our being.  We don’t have to search what God commanded us to do, he gives it to us plainly so that we can understand it and when we truly understand it in our hearts it will be easy for us to do. 

Of all the rules and laws given to God’s people in the Old Testament, Jesus boils it down to loving God with all of our being and loving our neighbor as ourselves.  Aren’t you glad you don’t have to sift through all of the law books of the Old Testament to find it? 

But even though it is given to us plainly, don’t we all at one time or another, attempt to test what Jesus tells us against our own ideas of what we think justifies what we do?  We, like the lawyer, want to know what we can do, what actions we can take, to have eternal life.  Jesus tells us that the “doing” comes as a result of the “being”, not the other way around.

We don’t follow God’s commandments because that is how we learn to love God.  We follow his commands because we love him.  When we know and love God as Lord and Saviour of our entire being, we want to do what is pleasing to him. 

What was the Lawyer’s answer to Jesus’ question of which man in the story was the neighbor?  He didn’t list all of the actions the Samaritan did for the wounded man, but he simply said “the one who showed him mercy.”  I think the lawyer got it (maybe that’s the bad punchline to the bad joke of the beginning).  He realized that being filled with the knowledge of God’s will, true spiritual wisdom and understanding as Paul puts it in his letter to the Colossians, leads us to do the things that visibly show we love God and our neighbor.  It isn’t doing merciful things that gives us eternal life, but seeking to know and love God with all of our being and it is this intimate knowing of God’s will that leads us to do merciful things, to love our neighbors as ourselves. 

Let us all go and do likewise.  Amen

Because some of you have asked ...

Here is the (short) sermon I preached on July 4 at the VA hospital ...

Galatians 6:1-10
My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. For if those who are nothing think they are something, they deceive themselves. All must test their own work; then that work, rather than their neighbor's work, will become a cause for pride. For all must carry their own loads. Those who are taught the word must share in all good things with their teacher. Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow. If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit. So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith.

What does it mean to bear one another's burdens, to be our brothers' keeper?  Don't we each have our own burdens to bear?  The world tells us to look out for ourselves, not to count on anyone but me.  Even in this passage we read today, there seems to be a contradiction about helping each other and accepting our own responsibility.  Paul tells the Galatians to bear one another’s burdens and then turns right around and says that each one much carry their own load. 

The difference lies in the meaning of the words “burden” and “load”.  A load is something an individual can carry – think of it like a sack or a backpack, something meant for one person to manage and we all have our own load, those responsibilities such as our families, our jobs, our commitments that we are responsible for.  A burden is something that is too much for one person to handle, those times in our lives when we can’t manage things on our own.  These are the times, times of sickness, grief, and hardships when we need to look out for each other and help one another bear these burdens. 

Bearing one another’s burdens is part of what keeps us connected as the family of God, the body of Christ that is the Church.  Salvation isn't individualistic, its community.  God came to live among us, in community, as one of us in the form of Jesus.  Jesus formed his community of disciples and his ministry was directed toward others in compassion and understanding.  This is how he taught us to be his church. 

Bearing one another’s burdens isn’t just about helping each other.  It also requires letting others help us, asking for and accepting help when we need it, allowing other's to bear our burdens.  It takes courage and strength to ask for help.  But if we refuse to let others help us, even as we willingly help them, we get in the way of our fellow Christians fulfilling the command that Jesus give us. 

Typically, it is our own pride that keeps us from asking for help – we don’t want to appear less than others.  Paul tells the Galatians to test our own work and not each others, meaning that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to one another with judgment.  If I judge my own work simply on the standard of what I know I can do, the load I know I can handle, then there is no reason for me to think of myself as better than, or lesser than, anyone one else.  And if no one thinks themself as better than or less than anyone else then we would be a community of equals. 

It’s a wonderful ideal, isn’t it, to think of all of God’s children working together for the good of all.  A beautiful thing to think about as this weekend we celebrate our nation's independence, our freedom, a freedom that veterans have fought to secure.  So I encourage each of you to not give up and to take the opportunities we have to bear one another’s burdens and to let others help bear ours. 

God’s peace be with each of you.  Amen. 

Three More Weeks …

Well, CPE is almost over, three more weeks and it's done. It's been tough. I'm not one to let my emotions hang out all over the place and this seems to be what is expected in our group sessions and various discussions. I have tried; I've shared some of the tougher parts of my life; I pushed past my comfort zone. I think, though, I pushed too far outside my comfort zone and for safety's sake I've pulled back in. Everyone has noticed, especially my supervisor. She brought it to my attention in our one-on-one this week and I told her just exactly what I've said here. She then informed me that there was a lot of sadness in my life … I corrected her to say that yes there were sad events in my life, but that didn't have to define me as a sad person. I've got lots of reasons to put my feet on the ground every morning – my son, my father, and not least of all, I'm preparing to do what God has been calling me to most of my life. I have the joy of knowing that no matter how tragic things may have gotten, or may yet get, I live knowing the love, grace, and redemption of my Heavenly Father. That is what I want to define who I am.

Vulnerabilities

What a day … I didn't like it much, but I think it was good for me. I'm going to write about it even though my first inclination is to shake my head to clear it and find something to keep be busy so I won't think about it but that would sort of defeat the purpose … So, my friends, grab your favorite beverage and here we go:

I see myself as the "strong one", the one who endures, the one others come to for reassurance, support, and encouragement. I like being that person. I don't want to appear vulnerable, in fact, that is one of my biggest fears. In one of my first one-on-one meetings with my CPE supervisor, she asked me to rank how much I dislike letting my vulnerabilities show and I ranked it an 8 on a scale of one to ten. "Wow," she said, "you really don't like it … (a long pause as she crafted her next statement) … Vulnerabilities are a gift in ministry." "How so???" I must have looked at her as if she had two heads and I was so taken aback by what she said I can't even remember now how she answered it. I think I just kind of blew it off as her way of trying to shake me up, which it did, but I wasn't going to admit it at the time (you see, a wise friend told me this was a wiley trick of CPE supervisors and I wasn't going to get sucked in by the game).

Since then, a memory from school keeps coming to my mind ...

The dim lights in the chapel made everyone whisper and even the whispers echoed slightly. The small group of students gathered not in the neat rows of chairs with kneeling rails but on and around the steps leading to the holy table. The pavement candles were lit without ceremony and no one processed in. Sitting on the floor looking up at the ceiling in the low light, the image of the beams representing a ship's keel came to me. I'd felt as if there had been a storm building up in me for a couple of days and I was feeling tossed about. I closed my eyes and sucked in the slow, deep breath that always helps me to grip the helm tighter to keep control in rough waters. The piano and guitar played softly as the Order for Compline began. "The Lord grant us a peaceful night and a perfect end. Amen." I love those words. "Our help is in the name of the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Compline is my favorite service. I find tremendous peace in it. This night, however, I was finding it difficult to speak the words out loud; my voice didn't want to cooperate. I knew I could count on the musicians to just play as long as I let them in the places we replaced spoken words with songs. At the end of the first song, the tears were stinging my eyes, like seawater blown over the bow. I blinked them back and took a breath. "Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit; For you have redeemed me, O Lord, O God of Truth; Keep us, O Lord, as the apple of your eye; Hide us in the shadow of your wings." My voice was breaking. A friend sitting next to me slid closer and put her arm around my shoulders. I blinked harder. "Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy; Lord have mercy," and then the musicians started Lord's Prayer. I put my head on my knees and willed myself into control. As the prayer concluded I slid the leader's book to my friend and she continued the service, "Lord hear our prayer; And let our cry come to you … "

I couldn't control it any longer, the waves crashed over the side of my boat and I couldn't stop them. Those around me continued with the service as they all slid over to surround me and touch me wherever they could fit and reach. My rational being, the one I normally let steer the ship, was yelling "mutiny" as the emotional being took the wheel and turned head on into the storm. I found enough voice to say my favorite words of the service "Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping, that awake we may watch with Christ and asleep we may rest in peace." I felt a strength begin to grow inside me. As the service ended, no one left. They just circled me tighter letting me ride out my storm without words. When my tears stopped and I raised my head, still no one asked anything. We just all stood, extinguished candles, gathered up service books, turned out lights, locked the chapel door, and walked to our rooms. As we got to the hall of the women's floor, one of the other ladies finally spoke to me and she said something like, "I'm so happy to see you cry. It lets me know you are human just like the rest of us and that I can trust you. Thank you." Her "thank you" has echoed in my mind ever since.

Perhaps this is the gift that my CPE supervisor was speaking of …

And, as for what made today so tough and brought this to the surface again … well, I was sharing about a conversation I had with a patient who was going in for open heart surgery and he was telling me that he longed for the glory of the life he knew he would have in heaven. As I was telling the story, the emotional storm began to spill over the edge of my ship. My supervisor and fellow CPE students encouraged me to let the tears flow and I fought it with all my might. The deck got a little wet, but I held on to the helm and steered away from the worst of the storm. It would have been a safe place to ride out the waves but I couldn't do it.

In a quiet conversation after with one of the other students, I boiled it down to this: There is a difference between being vulnerable and letting my vulnerabilities show in a safe, trusting environment. Now I just have to come to accept and believe it.

Uncomfortableness (or CPE #2)

Okay so that's really not a word but it says so much … it describes my state of being this past week and using it helps me with accepting those things that make me uncomfortable, like made up words (minor in the overall scheme of things, I know, but a pet peeve nonetheless).

Are you ready for some honest, personal reflection? That is, after all, one of the main things I'm supposed to be getting out of my CPE experience. A nice beverage of choice might make it a little easier. Since it's a Saturday morning, I'm currently settling for coffee …

Some people don't mind confronting those things that make them uncomfortable; some people avoid those things that make them uncomfortable; some people react with panic, fear, anger, self-righteousness, or indignation. I usually start with the avoidance technique and if that doesn't work, I follow through with any combination of the emotions listed. Hard to admit, but true.

This past week, we read some information on a personality assessment called the Enneagram. I'd never heard of it before but apparently I'm part of the minority (I live with the fact that I'm out of touch and usually years behind – didn't even know what my Myers-Briggs was until this past term – I think I was the last one on the planet…). My first thought on personality typing is that I don't put a lot of stock into them. I find them interesting and thought provoking but I don't like being put in a slot and I don't want to fall into the trap of blaming my bad or unhealthy behaviors on a definition of my personality (my CPE supervisor would be so happy to see me personalizing that instead of lumping the human race into the royal we). Besides, how do I know which ones are valid and which are not. I mean really, have you looked at how many variations there are on Facebook? According to FB, I'm Big Bird, Marcy (from Peanuts), Calvin Coolidge, Green, Kermit the Frog, and Light. According to past ones I've taken through various team-building activities at my jobs, I'm a dove and an otter. On a more serious note, Myers-Briggs says I'm an ENFJ (not even anything cute or fun, just a list of letters). So, now, according to the Enneagram, I'm a 2 (not even my favorite number).

This past Tuesday in Reading Seminar, we discussed our first reading on the Enneagram. I wasn't very positive about it and butted heads with my supervisor. She puts a lot of stock in the Enneagram – lives and breathes it, analyzes everyone she is in relationship with using it and I hear her saying things like "I can't help it, I'm a 7". After the seminar, I was a bit perplexed as to why it irritated me so and it bothered me all day. When I got home, I was discussing it with a friend and she was able to voice what I hadn't been able to put my finger on. Where is God in all of this? That is what was bothering me. If I accept all of my behavior, as it is, because a personality test tells me I do these things because I'm a specific type that takes away the transformational aspect of my relationship with God. Of course, with my usual lack of self-confidence in voicing things theological, I wasn't quite sure of how I was going to explain this in next week's Reading Seminar but I began to pray about being more open to learning about the Enneagram and its possibilities.

Earlier today, I was doing some reading for the Spiritual Formation for Ministry class I'm taking in August and guess what came up? You guessed it – Enneagrams. And did I mention that I walked into my favorite bookstore last week and what did they have on display at the front counter? Yep – several books on Enneagrams (please, to make me feel better, someone please tell me you haven't heard of them before this …). But in the book I was reading, The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner, the Enneagram is presented as a tool for spiritual transformation. Benner describes the Enneagram as a way to look deep inside ourselves and identify those sinful tendencies which we would rather bury or ignore but which, until we confront it as part of who we are, will prevent us from accepting and knowing ourselves "as we are accepted and known by God" (Benner, 72). "It is in the depth of your self that God waits to meet you with transforming love" (73). It's a short book and well worth the read for anyone looking to begin the journey of self-discovery as a starting point for spiritual transformation.

I still feel an uncomfortableness about looking so deeply into myself but I think I'll try strategy number one and confront it … at least until I start to panic …

God's peace, my friends!

CPE Entry #1

Well, I've survived almost three weeks of CPE … the first week and a half were mostly orientation and getting what we need to do whatever it is we are supposed to be doing (computer access, keys, badges, phones, etc.). We just started seeing patients this week but with all of the class and group work we do, there isn't a lot of time to visit with the patients (in all honesty I'm mixed with disappointment and relief over this). I'm beginning to discover (and those of you that told me this you know how thick headed I can be …) that the most important thing about CPE is self-discovery. The patient visits, although good for the patients and the vast majority appreciate and are grateful for the time we do spend with them, are just another tool to help us bring out those things which will help us and those things which will get in our way in our ministry.

One of the things we have to do each week is to prepare a "verbatim" in which we write out, word-for-word as closely as we can remember, a significant conversation with a patient. We then analyze the conversation from the patient's point of view and our point of view and look at the theology of the visit, answering "where was God in this encounter". I handed in my first verbatim today, the patient was one of my very first visits and I was very nervous – you see we have to do a "spiritual assessment" on all newly admitted patients and there is specific information we are to get from the patient to complete the form in their patient records such as "what type of relationship does the patient have with God", "Has the patient be wounded by the church", and "How does the patient view God", but we are supposed to do this in a conversational way rather than from a checklist of questions. So, I had a copy of the questions in my notebook discretely placed where I could see them and make it look like I'm looking at the patient information slip that brought me to this patient in the first place (sneaky, huh?). What made this particular visit significant was that the patient was a Baptist minister … of course I didn't know that as I walked in the room and introduced myself with as much confidence as I had been able to muster in the short walk from the chaplain office to the ward.

What I discovered as I wrote out the conversation we had was that he was able to minister to me in seeing and acknowledging my nervousness and yet I was still able to do him some good, too. He had been hoping that a chaplain would come see him because as he put it: "whenever I visit a church I make sure I introduce myself to the minister first thing since I'm in their house." Within my first two or three sentences, he picked up on my nervousness and asked me, ever so sweetly, why. When I told him I was new, he smiled with a smile as big as all of Texas and reached for my hand and began to share with me his story into the ministry. He was all but tied down to the bed with cords and tubes, but he was as animated as his circumstances would allow. He was so filled with joy at sharing with me I forgot all about my list of questions and just let him talk, which he did for almost half an hour. He finally ended by telling me that he could see the Spirit in me and to trust that God would equip me for his ministry so I didn't need to worry. Then he asked me to pray for him. As I thanked God for our visit and asked for continued healing for him and guidance and wisdom for his doctors and nurses, he punctuated my prayer with loud "ALLELUIA"s and "AMEN"s. We both had tears in our eyes when I finished.

Immediately after the visit, all I could focus on was the draining of my self-confidence when he told me he was a minister. The next day, as I began to write it out, I could see what an amazing encounter it turned out to be. God worked through this to give me the boost I needed to begin to claim the permission to be a chaplain – equipping me for his ministry (I'm sure, though, knowing me, I'll still worry about it a little).

God is faithful and good.

Time

People always say the older you get the faster time goes by, and I have to say I'm in total agreement with that. Today, my son and I went through things in my storage unit to get what he needed to set up house in his very first apartment … when did he get to be old enough to live on his own? I mean, I know he's twenty and I know that's not really as grown up as he thinks he is (or any of us thought when we were 20) but I think I'll always picture him as 4 or 5 years old, running around in shorts and cowboy boots. It seems just yesterday.

Yet, among these same memories running amok in my head today, I thought of the events that surrounded putting all of my household goods in storage in preparation for school … and it was hard to slide open that door as step back into the events that clouded what was supposed to be an exciting and joyous time. So far, in this blog, I've never talked about any of it, just parleyed about how I came to be going to seminary and various events of my first year. But, it's on my mind today, and I think I need to put it into words a bit.

The people that where with me through this time know the details and I don't have to put the events into words for you and I'm grateful that you can know without words. When I got to school, I was surrounded by folks who didn't know and I had to learn to frame it in words and I found it to be tremendously healing – putting emotions and memories into words helps me own them instead of my emotions and memories owning me, and, again, I'm grateful to these new friends who patiently let me find the words I needed. The event, the death of my husband in the middle of plans to go to seminary, seems at the same time both far removed by time because I have changed so much since it happened and yet immediate when things trigger my memory unexpectedly. I wonder how can time seem two ways at once? I play back that day and I can see the people around me moving in slow motion and at the same time there are great holes in the events so that it seems time jumped forward and I missed things.

Time is a peculiar thing, and I don't think I can fully grasp what it is or how it works beyond being able to describe how a clock tells us what time it is. I put it in the category of awesome things that I won't truly grasp "on this side of the grave". One of my favorite things to do in church is when we are all reciting the Lord's Prayer or the Nicene Creed, I like to close my eyes and listen to the sound of all of our voices rising in unison with the same words, the same words that have been lifted up to God for hundreds and hundreds of years and will be lifted up for years to come. C. S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, talks about time, God's time, and how God doesn't see time as we do – he sees all time at once with no past, present, or future and I like to think that the chorus of faithful voices is continuous to God, that he hears my voice with that of the apostles and those of my great-great-great-great grandchildren. It boggles my mind.

When days seem to fly by too fast for me to accomplish everything, when some drag on so that I think I'll never survive them, when memories fill my thoughts so that I am pulled to times past and anxious thoughts try to drag me into the future, I try to remind myself that time is not mine it is God's. My responsibility is to spend the ticks of the clock trying to be who God needs me to be in each and every moment.

So, in this moment, I am coming to terms with my son growing up and I can say that I am proud and thankful that he is who he is and know that as time moves forward he will continue to develop into the person God needs him to be. I'll spend some time picturing the infant, the toddler, the little boy, and the teenager and I'll send him off with a prayer for protection and guidance and hope the time until I see him again goes quickly. Tick tock, tick tock.

God's peace, my friends,

Nancy