Choices

It's the beginning of a new year … and as we all do, I've been reflecting on the "old" one (year, I mean, not me). 2010 was a year of joy, sorrow, love, and blessings. I'm blessed with family and friends that I love dearly and who love me. I'm privileged to be studying for the vocation to which God has called me (even if I have a "love/hate" relationship with graduate school, it is always a privilege). I lost a dear friend and spiritual mentor. I continue to live with the loss of my mother and husband in recent years. God has answered my prayers, sometimes the way I wanted and sometimes not, but in all cases I can see that it was always the best answer for me.

And, of course all of this reflecting leads to reflecting on life in general … and the one word that keeps coming to my mind is "choices".

In his book, Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis says something that has really stuck with me:

"[E]very time you make a choice you are turning into the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures, and with itself. To be the one kind of creature is heaven: that is, it is joy and peace and knowledge and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage, impotence, and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state of the other."

There are many events in our lives, both good and bad, that we don't choose but the choice we can make is how we react to and deal with those events. We can choose to see the negative or the positive. Even if sometimes the positive isn't readily visible, we can trust in faith that God sees a bigger picture that we can't always see and we can trust that His vision is better than ours. We can make the choice that no matter what happens, to live a life in harmony with God, with others, and with ourselves and to choose those actions and attitudes which enable such harmony.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think this is easy or something you decide to do like a New Year's Resolution. It's a choice we make each and every moment, sometimes consciously sometimes unconsciously, with each and every thing we do, say, think, and feel. It's intentional. The more we consciously choose harmony, the more we'll choose it unconsciously. It will become part of who we are becoming.

I wish each of you God's peace in 2011!

Nancy

Reflections

Hello ... I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've written ... well, it's not that I haven't been writing, it's just that I've been writing for school, and reading, and preparing for quizzes, and working at the library, and in the chapel ... needless to say, it's a busy term.  But, I am getting the chance in a couple of classes to do some reflective writing and it just hit me that I could actually kill two birds with one stone and post those writings here.  So, I'll space out the ones I've already written and add new ones as I write them.  And, don't fret, I will get around to writing things just for the blog again, I'm sure (maybe after midterms ...). 

One of the classes is a seminar class that goes along with our field placement (mine is at Church of the Messiah and I do plan to write some posts about the goings on there).  One of the things we are learning in the seminar is to reflect theologically on the things that are going on around us; to look at all we do and encounter through a theological lens.  The professor starts each class by asking "so tell me what interesting things you've seen this week,"  and we talk about where is God in all of this.  We also have to write personal reflections and turn them in.  The following is the first one I did:

I have a lot on my plate this term; I was a little concerned about it over the summer and spent time praying about what I could let go.  In these prayers, however, God told me that I could do it, that I needed to do all of it, there would be important lessons learned.  So, as the first week of the term approached, I carefully plotted out my calendar and prayed for strength and endurance (God, I’m not as young as I once was …).  During the first week very little went according to my calendar.  I was feeling quite stressed and discombobulated.  I was having bad dreams about not getting things done, not being where I was supposed to be, and forgetting what I was supposed to be doing.  I was getting too distracted by what might go wrong to concentrate on what I needed to be doing.  So, I sat down to pray: “God, you said I needed to take these things on, why can’t they go the way I planned them … Oh, wait, that’s the point, isn’t it?  These are not tasks I’m doing for myself but for your purposes.  I need to let you form and transform me.  Even in the craziness, God, you are present, teaching me.  Help me to remember to not hold so tight to my plans that I let go of you.  This isn’t going to be an easy lesson for me to learn.” 

Looking back on the things that “disrupted” my own plans, some of these were the people around me, in my community, who needed to feel God’s presence.  I wonder, if in my stress of rearranging my plans to be with them, did I get in their way? 

A Little Thing from CPE

This was part of my self-evaluation of my CPE experience ... we had to write a brief biography of our self as told by a favorite cartoon character.  I picked Eeyore from A. A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh books.  I have always loved these stories and have a small (albeit dilapidated after all these years) stuffed Pooh and Eeyore from when I was a child.  When my own son was small, we would watch Pooh videos together and when he would get hurt or upset, I could always calm him by singing the song from the videos.

I found it difficult but fun to write at the same time.  For those who are familiar with the Winnie the Pooh stories, you will recognize lines and descriptions taken from the books (with the hopes that I don't cause any major copyright violation incidents).   I hope you enjoy it...

Biography of Me, by Eeyore
Nancy sat by herself in the corner of her room by the window, her head to one side, thinking. Sometimes she thought to herself, "Why?" and sometimes she thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes she thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes she didn't quite know what she was thinking about. The particular task ahead of her was to write her biography and her thoughts kept coming back to the boring thought that her childhood was nothing particularly exceptional so why would anyone be interested. Yet it had to be done and so she began.

She wrote and wrote and thought and wrote and realized her life looked different in the words on the page than the pictures in her head. The pictures in her head looked like any other family she knew, not that she new every family every there was, but she'd known some and that was enough. "They're funny things, families. You never know what yours looks like until you aren't in the middle of it anymore," she said to no one in particular, particularly since no one else was in the room.

Mom and Daddy, a big sister and brother, these were the ones she grew up with in a small corner of a small town in the big state of Texas. Sounds normal enough but the activities in the home were not as those of the neighbors. Daddy was a student, going to university, thinking big thoughts. Mom worked when the rest of the world slept and took care of those who needed extra care, even if just for a short time. But, Nancy said as she typed it, dinner time made things normal, they all sat down to eat together.

As everyone must, Nancy grew from childhood to a teenager with all of the mixed up thoughts and emotions that involves. This she knew was like everyone else. There were times when she would say, like I've been known to say, "We can't all and some of us don't … Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush." But there were many more times when she would say "one can't complain. I have my friends and my family. Someone spoke to me only yesterday" in her bouncy, cheery way.

The years continued to pass, days and weeks and seasons, rain and shine, hot and cold, happy and not. Someones and others and friends and dear ones, some stayed and some went. To most she could say: "Thank you. You're a real friend." Wandering here and there, over and yon, she never quite found her fit in any of the places she tried. One sun shiny spring day instead of going for a picnic in the woods with her son, she decided to visit a place she hadn't been in a very long not short time. She knew she belonged in this place and even when she went somewhere else, this place was still familiar there and she belonged. The sign on the door read Episcopal Church.

She’d been to a similar place as a child yet that place never seemed to fit. When she wanted to serve in this similar place she wasn’t allowed and this made her think thoughts about how was it possible that she read the guide book differently than others so she doubted her ability to read it and understand. It must just be grey dust that had blown into her head by mistake. There was no talking about it. There was no give and take. No exchange of thought. Only their way.

But in this new familiar and belonging place that she had found, Nancy began to feel a deeper and deeper need to serve and this time others and dear ones accepted what she did and encouraged her to serve more. The more she served the more energy she found until one day she was told she needed to go to yet another place to learn and read and practice about how to do this serving thing the right way. She said yes to the adventure but there would be happenings to happen before it could begin.

Of the someones and dear ones that she held so close, an extra special someone, her wise Grammy Irene was getting too old to hold on to anymore and she passed in that way that our grammys and grampys do and Nancy was sad. Three seasons, chilly winter and breezy spring and the oh-so hot summer passed and another dear one, one of the dearest, Mom, got so very sick and she was too tired to get better and she went to be with the grammys and grampys but Nancy thought she wasn’t old enough to go. But this was not all. Sometimes sad things come more than we want them to. Before they could leave on their adventure, Nancy’s husband and partner and friend decided that he didn’t want to have any more days and weeks and years and he too went where Grammy Irene and Mom went to be. The sadness was bigger than anything Nancy had ever seen. So big it tried to block out all the things that could cause a girl to smile.

But Nancy was not alone. There were still someones and friends and dear ones around and they smiled for her when she couldn’t and she could see her own smile somewhere in theirs. Despite being sad, Nancy knew as much as a girl could know that there was still the adventure she must take to learn and read and practice those things she needed to put into her brain, for they were already in her heart. And it is on this learning adventure that Nancy sits, writing her story that must be written, thinking new thoughts and trying them on for size and liking the fit. Saying to herself, “I know if I didn't have high hopes, I'd be depressed all the time” and feeling the happiness that will always live within her and letting it spill out onto the someones and dear ones and others around her.

Reactions

I wrote this last week and just never got it posted… I'm now officially done with CPE, but there will be a few posts coming from the experience, I think, now that I have time to sit back and reflect on it a bit more …

There are lot of rules in the hospital about patient confidentiality (and rightfully so) so I have been reluctant to write much about my experiences with patients during my chaplaincy. But sometimes, the experience is just too powerful or interesting not to share. Of course I'll leave out anything that might possibly identify the hospital or the patient.

I walked in the room and introduced myself to the patient and his wife. As soon as I said the word "chaplain" his face light up. This is always a good sign. Reactions to saying I'm the chaplain have run the gamut, anywhere from sheer terror (why do I need a chaplain, am I dying), to suspicion (are you going to try and convert me), to disinterest (just another of a parade of hospital staff coming through), but I digress … back to this particular reaction, delight!

"I have a question for you, Chaplain." His face turns quite serious. "If you die in your sleep, how do you know you're dead?" (You will all be proud to know that I controlled my impulse to give a smart-assed answer because I saw the seriousness of his face and knew he really wanted a serious answer.)

"Well, I guess it all depends on what you believe happens after you die," I said.

He smiled and I gave an internal sigh of relief that he was pleased with my answer, or at least I was hoping the smile meant he wasn't offended or put off by it.

He stared at me for a few seconds before saying anything else. "You didn't flinch at my question, you just answered it. I like that. I guess my question is more about what should we be thinking as we die?"

I won't go into detail about everything we said (the conversation took over an hour and I don't care if you do have your favorite reading beverage and are willing to read it, I don't have the brain capacity to write it out word for word and disguise any personal information on behalf of the patient. Sorry to disappoint you).

He shared with me his personal experiences of being in dangerous situations where people around him were dying and his only thought was to protect and save others (this was the nature of his job), not the possibility of his own death. His current illness, however, had him thinking of his own death and he wondered if that meant he was going to die. He was calm and confident, believing he would go to Heaven when he died. We talked about how it felt to know that we are doing what God needs us to be doing while on earth. I didn't try to concoct any answers for him, just listened and shared what I thought when he asked. I think the conversation would have gone longer if we hadn't been interrupted by his doctor coming in. I was honored and blessed by his trusting me to share his most intimate beliefs and I told him so.

I never know what's going to transpire as I walk into a patient's room and I have to confess, the majority of them are simple, fairly short conversations. But there have been a few that will stick with me, mostly because I'm amazed that perfect strangers will open up to me because of the role I'm in – more of that "awesome responsibility" I keep discovering.

And I continue to be amazed …

Permission

As my phone buzzed me from my sleep I thought, how did my alarm get set vibrate rather than ring? Through one half-opened eye I looked at it and realized simultaneously that it was a call coming in from the hospital and it was 4 am. "Hello," I said as awake and alert as I could manage.

"Is this the Protestant Chaplain on call for <insert name of hospital here>" came the official sounding voice from the other end.

I sat up and said, "yes, this is Nancy" as I forced my brain to pay attention to what was coming next.

"A family on <insert ward #> is asking for a chaplain, the patient is dying."

"Wait, let me write this down." I knew I couldn't rely on my memory at this time of night (or morning, I'm not sure which timeframe 4 am belongs to). I turned on my bedside lamp and reached for my notebook and pen. "Go ahead."

"I'm sorry for waking you, Ma'am."

"No apology needed, I'm on call, it's what you are supposed to do." The official sounding voice laughed and gave me the details. "Please tell the family I'll be there as soon as I can," I said as my mind had already started going through my closet thinking about what I can put on. As I physically opened the closet door I thought of the entry I read in the Beauty Tips for Ministers blog about always keeping one outfit pressed and ready for those middle-of-the-night calls and I wish I had paid better attention to the advice. I grab what doesn't need ironing and pull it on, make my way to the bathroom, put up my bed-head hair as neatly as possible (wasn't oily hair supposed to end sometime in my 30s???), wash the sleep out of my eyes, decide against any makeup beyond a quick dust of powder, put in earrings, and brush my teeth (a very important step I was glad I thought of even if halfway to the hospital I realized I had forgotten to freshen my deodorant).

I got in the car and thought "Oh, dear God, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do!" Which I immediately followed with the prayer "God, you are going to have to give me the words." Thankfully, the drive was uneventful and I even managed to stay within the speed limit.

I entered the darkened room to find two women, one looked about my age and the other older standing beside the bed where the man appeared to be sleeping. I softly whispered who I was. The younger woman, the daughter, stepped away from the bed and explained the situation to me.

"My father is dying," she said. Tears ran down her weary face but her voice was strong. "His breaths are coming further and further apart. He's been in so much pain and we don't want him to suffer any more. We've said our goodbyes to him. Please pray with him so that he knows it's okay to let go."

These words will ring in my ears forever. My mind and heart raced through time to two separate events, years apart yet just as vivid as this event unfolding before me. I remember standing with my grandmother at my granddaddy's bedside and hearing her whisper to him "Shug, if you are ready to go, it's okay." About ten years later, I said similar words to my own mother: "I know you don't want to be this sick and if you are too tired to keep fighting, it's okay." And, now, these people I didn't even know, had never met before walking into this room, were asking me to give their husband and father permission to let go of this life.

I stepped close to the bed, took his hand, placed my other hand on his shoulder, and leaned in close to his ear. "Mr. <patient name> my name is Nancy, I'm the chaplain. Your wife and daughter have asked me to pray with you." I took a deep breath and said a quick silent prayer asking God again to direct my words. "Heavenly Father, please take your son into your arms and relieve him of his suffering." As soon as these words passed my lips I felt his shoulder shake and I thought it was him taking another breath. "Give comfort to his wife and daughter in their sadness. God we know you understand our pain at losing a loved one and even though we can rejoice that <patient name> will no longer suffer but live in your glory, they will grieve losing him. Give them strength, God."

Before I could finish the prayer, his wife says "He's gone, I feel it." For some unknown reason, I respond, "I just felt him breathe" thinking this was the movement I felt. Both the wife and the daughter said they didn't feel anything, that he hadn't moved …

The events of the next three hours were mostly guided by the hospital staff, the doctor coming in to pronounce the time of death, the nurse disconnecting him from all tubes and such and telling the family they could stay with him as long as they needed. I sat with them for about two hours listening to them tell stories of his life amid tears and laughs. Finally, they stood and said they were ready to go and I walked them downstairs to sign the necessary paperwork to allow the hospital and funeral home to coordinate and cooperate. As I walked them to the front of the hospital, the sun was up and it was time for me to start my regular duty day.

I am deeply grateful to have had this experience and touched and thankful for my fellow chaplains who, after only half of my "regular duty day" sent me home to take care of myself, spiritually, emotionally, and physically (although I teased them it was just because they wanted me to shower). Through this event, I realized, again, the awesome responsibility that comes with God's call for my life. I will lead people through the most difficult, as well as the most joyous, spiritual moments of their lives and yet I cannot rely on my own strengths or abilities but those that God gives me for this purpose.

This experience of praying someone through their moment of death will stay with me forever, not in a frightening way but in an awe inspiring way as a testament of God's presence in our lives and physical being. I hope to always be amazed at the way God can build my confidence and humble me at the same time with the same experience.

Good Samaritan Sermon

Grab your favorite reading beverage for this one ... 
It feels a bit like tooting my own horn, but, again, some folks have asked to read this sermon.  I wish there was some way to convey voice inflection in written text, but you'll just have to put in your own.  Any and all feedback would be sincerely appreciated!

I'm working on my next sermon for August 1 at St. Thomas.  You can check out the lessons on The Lectionary Page.  Any and all suggestions will be considered!!


July 11, 2010
St. Thomas Episcopal Church

Deuteronomy 30:9-14
Psalm 25:1-9
Colossians 1:1-14
Luke 10: 25-37

Is it just me or does the first verse in today’s gospel lesson sounds like the start of a bad lawyer joke?  Only instead of a witty punchline that puts the lawyer in his place, Jesus responds in a way that lets the lawyer and all of us, discover the truth ourselves.  In the context of Luke, the lawyer seems to randomly approach Jesus as an individual.  In Matthew, the lawyer asking this same question is part of a group of Pharisees taking their turn to attempt to discredit Jesus after a group of Sadducees has failed.  In either case, whether he was prompted by a group or acting on his own, he wanted to test Jesus’ knowledge of God.  After Jesus turns the tables on him and asks the lawyer what the law says, the lawyer goes on, as the author of Luke tells us, to justify himself, meaning he wanted to prove himself a righteous man of God. 

I’m sure many of you have been in this type of situation, either professionally or in a social setting.  Someone wants to find out who knows more about a given subject and begins to question us not out of curiosity but to prove their own worth.  Some of you know that this summer I’m doing a chaplaincy internship at the VA hospital.  Last week, I was the on-duty chaplain and part of being on duty for the weekend is to do the protestant services on Sunday morning.  We hold two services, one in the main chapel for anyone who is mobile enough to come to it and then another service in the psychiatric ward, just for the patients and staff there.  The other chaplains, in helping me prepare for my first weekend on duty told me about one of the patients in the psychiatric ward who says he is Jesus.  They told me that often he will interrupt the sermon to make comments such as “that’s not what I really said…” or to offer commentary on what the preacher is saying.  They said the best thing to do is to ignore him and keep going, that he just wants to debate but if I didn’t acknowledge what he says then he would be quiet.  I don’t think I have to tell you that all week I was secretly praying that he wouldn’t be at the service.  I really didn’t want to be faced with the situation of this man questioning my knowledge even if I was given permission to ignore him. 

As I was greeting the patients in the common room in the psychiatric ward before the service, guess who I met?  Yep, Jesus.  He introduced himself to me and thanked me for coming to do the service and then sat right in the front.  As the service began, he followed along attentively in the bulletin, joining in all of the responses and prayers (I remember thinking to myself, Jesus must be Episcopalian!).  As I began my sermon, I said a silent prayer for patience and courage.  About halfway into it he stood up and I braced myself. …  But instead of saying anything, he simply smiled at me and calmly walked out.  … Now, I’m not sure which action would have had the bigger impact on my confidence, if he had completely questioned what I said, or just walking out all together!  But, at least he didn’t try to test my knowledge.  For the time being, I’d like to leave that to my professors.

Okay, so this is a very light-hearted, bit of a stretch of an example of the self-righteous testing that the Lawyer was doing with Jesus but I know we’ve all been in that type of situation.  The lawyer realized he couldn’t trip Jesus up on the law, so he tries with something that isn’t specifically defined in the law: “who is my neighbor”.  After all, Jesus was well known for hanging out with unsavory types so maybe his definition of neighbor would somehow be a contradiction to or evan a violation of the law.  The traditional view of neighbor was a friend or a fellow citizen, not someone who wasn’t an Israelite.  Even for us, today, the word neighbor makes us think of those that live right around us, in our “neighborhood.”  But Jesus has a different definition and in his usual fashion, her responds with a parable, one we’ve known since childhood.  We all know that the point of the parable is to show us what it means to love our neighbor as ourselves.  But why do we want to do the actions that show we love our neighbor as ourselves, what makes us desire to be this type of person?  Let’s take a bit and, as my favorite professor would say, “unpack” it and look at it in detail.

First, the cast of characters:  There is a man.  He’s not given a name or a nationality or any type of identifier, just a generic man.  The detail comes in his journey, he’s going from Jerusalem to Jericho, there was a purpose to him being on a road that at the time was known to be dangerous.  The lawyer probably would have been able to picture himself traveling along this same road, feeling a sense of danger and not being surprised that the man fell into the hands of robbers.  The robbers aren’t given any type of descriptor either.  For the point to be made, it doesn’t matter who it was who was hurt or by whom, only that we see that a human being, one created by God in his image, is in desperate need.

Next comes a priest, a specific person whose job was to offer sacrifices and take care of the sacred rites of the people, who by chance, was going down the same road.  He sees the man, yet doesn’t get anywhere near him and leaves him as the robbers did, half dead.  After the priest, likewise comes a Levite, someone who served as an assistant to priests, who also passes by on the other side of the road, staying as far away from this man as possible.  The story doesn’t give us any indication of their thinking or their feelings upon encountering the wounded man, leaving the lawyer and anyone else listening to fill in their own reaction to coming upon such a person.  Anyone listening to the story, and even you and me, reading it and listening to it today, can see ourselves in each side of this equation.

Finally, there is a Samaritan, someone who despised and was despised by Jews.  The description of the Samaritan seeing the man is opposite of how the priest and Levite saw him.  The priest and Levite saw him first and then passed on the other side giving the impression that they went out of their way to avoid him.  The Samaritan, the story tells us came near and when he saw him was moved with pity and he took action to help the man. 

Jesus provides more detail about the Samaritan than any other of the characters in the story.  His point is to show the lawyer who is seeking justification for his own behavior that those who focus first and foremost on the law rather than on the Giver of the law are the ones who don’t show compassion or mercy.

God provided the Mosaic law that was followed so painstakingly by the priests and Levites.  The law is not bad.  This was not the point of the story.  The law provides direction on how to live life as people who loved God with heart and soul.  The problem lies in making the law more important than loving God or even seeing it as a substitute.  The problem lies in letting religious rules get in the way of being God’s people. 

Following the rules isn’t how we get to know God.  We obey God’s commandments because we know him and love him.  Look at the text from Deuteronomy.  Moses explains that God wanted his people to obey his commands because they had turned to him with all of their heart and soul not as a substitute for this relationship.  Obeying the rules is the visible sign of our relationship with God.  God’s purpose in creating us is to be in relationship with him, not so that he would have someone to give rules to.  We are commanded first to love him with all of our being.  We don’t have to search what God commanded us to do, he gives it to us plainly so that we can understand it and when we truly understand it in our hearts it will be easy for us to do. 

Of all the rules and laws given to God’s people in the Old Testament, Jesus boils it down to loving God with all of our being and loving our neighbor as ourselves.  Aren’t you glad you don’t have to sift through all of the law books of the Old Testament to find it? 

But even though it is given to us plainly, don’t we all at one time or another, attempt to test what Jesus tells us against our own ideas of what we think justifies what we do?  We, like the lawyer, want to know what we can do, what actions we can take, to have eternal life.  Jesus tells us that the “doing” comes as a result of the “being”, not the other way around.

We don’t follow God’s commandments because that is how we learn to love God.  We follow his commands because we love him.  When we know and love God as Lord and Saviour of our entire being, we want to do what is pleasing to him. 

What was the Lawyer’s answer to Jesus’ question of which man in the story was the neighbor?  He didn’t list all of the actions the Samaritan did for the wounded man, but he simply said “the one who showed him mercy.”  I think the lawyer got it (maybe that’s the bad punchline to the bad joke of the beginning).  He realized that being filled with the knowledge of God’s will, true spiritual wisdom and understanding as Paul puts it in his letter to the Colossians, leads us to do the things that visibly show we love God and our neighbor.  It isn’t doing merciful things that gives us eternal life, but seeking to know and love God with all of our being and it is this intimate knowing of God’s will that leads us to do merciful things, to love our neighbors as ourselves. 

Let us all go and do likewise.  Amen

Because some of you have asked ...

Here is the (short) sermon I preached on July 4 at the VA hospital ...

Galatians 6:1-10
My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. For if those who are nothing think they are something, they deceive themselves. All must test their own work; then that work, rather than their neighbor's work, will become a cause for pride. For all must carry their own loads. Those who are taught the word must share in all good things with their teacher. Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow. If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit. So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith.

What does it mean to bear one another's burdens, to be our brothers' keeper?  Don't we each have our own burdens to bear?  The world tells us to look out for ourselves, not to count on anyone but me.  Even in this passage we read today, there seems to be a contradiction about helping each other and accepting our own responsibility.  Paul tells the Galatians to bear one another’s burdens and then turns right around and says that each one much carry their own load. 

The difference lies in the meaning of the words “burden” and “load”.  A load is something an individual can carry – think of it like a sack or a backpack, something meant for one person to manage and we all have our own load, those responsibilities such as our families, our jobs, our commitments that we are responsible for.  A burden is something that is too much for one person to handle, those times in our lives when we can’t manage things on our own.  These are the times, times of sickness, grief, and hardships when we need to look out for each other and help one another bear these burdens. 

Bearing one another’s burdens is part of what keeps us connected as the family of God, the body of Christ that is the Church.  Salvation isn't individualistic, its community.  God came to live among us, in community, as one of us in the form of Jesus.  Jesus formed his community of disciples and his ministry was directed toward others in compassion and understanding.  This is how he taught us to be his church. 

Bearing one another’s burdens isn’t just about helping each other.  It also requires letting others help us, asking for and accepting help when we need it, allowing other's to bear our burdens.  It takes courage and strength to ask for help.  But if we refuse to let others help us, even as we willingly help them, we get in the way of our fellow Christians fulfilling the command that Jesus give us. 

Typically, it is our own pride that keeps us from asking for help – we don’t want to appear less than others.  Paul tells the Galatians to test our own work and not each others, meaning that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to one another with judgment.  If I judge my own work simply on the standard of what I know I can do, the load I know I can handle, then there is no reason for me to think of myself as better than, or lesser than, anyone one else.  And if no one thinks themself as better than or less than anyone else then we would be a community of equals. 

It’s a wonderful ideal, isn’t it, to think of all of God’s children working together for the good of all.  A beautiful thing to think about as this weekend we celebrate our nation's independence, our freedom, a freedom that veterans have fought to secure.  So I encourage each of you to not give up and to take the opportunities we have to bear one another’s burdens and to let others help bear ours. 

God’s peace be with each of you.  Amen.